tucker max and Matthew Dickman

http://www.tuckermax.com/

^this is the main link

http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/the_famous_sushi_pants_story.phtml#277

"1:24: I can't find my pants. My breathalyzer is in clear sight. I blow. A .23. Someone informs me that my challenger just blew a .26. They add that he hasn't thrown up yet. I tell them to "kiss my fucking ass." My last clear memory.

8:15am: I wake up. I don't know where I am. It is very hot. I am sweating horribly. It smells like rotting flesh.

8:16: I am in my car. With the windows up. The sun is beating down directly on me. It is at least 125 degrees in my car. I open the door and try to get out, but instead I fall onto the pavement. The scabs that cover my legs tear and reopen as I move. My penis falls out of my pink Gap boxers and lands, along with the rest of me, in a dirty puddle on the asphalt.

8:19: The fetid standing water finally propels me into full consciousness. I can't find my pants. Or cell phone. Or wallet. But I do have my breathalyzer. I blow. A .09. I am still not eligible to drive in the state of Florida.

8:22: I drive home anyway."

^and this is a sample of what Tucker Max is all about.

This is the type of guy girls would typically despise. The type of guy that I, personally would never involve myself with sexually/intimately (in fear of STD's or other rare diseases)...however, this didn't stop me from reading or laughing out loud in response to every story. They're the types of stories that you just can't make up. Check it out, and definitely read the book titled "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell."


A poem by Matthew Dickman, suggested by a very good friend of mine.

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/slow-dance-7/