86'd

Being underage; scoring some alcohol is barely ever a problem, for anyone. From fake i.d.'s to just getting served anyway, or having friends that are 21+ it's just a simple process. However, what I recently learned (the hard way) was that trying to drink at clubs in the city is an atrocious idea. Especially when one of your good friends is hosting the event.

Typically when I come home from school on the weekend, you'll find me hanging out in New brunswick with the same group of friends and if not there, then Ewing (besides the point). Anyway, this past weekend, my friend CM (I'll use initials for privacy purposes) was hired to host a party in the bottom level of Webster Hall (called Trash) in NYC. I was supposed to drive there with CM and friends MG, SJ, and NB. So once I arrived in New Brunswick at MG's place, we pre-gamed a little bit and once SJ got there, we all drove to CM's house and then he drove me, the girls (SJ and MG), and NB to the club.

It started off like this.

Me - "MG, can you pee with me when we get there?"
MG - "Of course, I have to go too"
Me - "CM, how far are we from the club?"
CM - "Idk, 5-10 minutes?"

I was starting to feel hopeless for my pee staying inside of my bladder.

Me - "I don't think i'm going to be able to hold it. It hurts. I might pee on the seat."
MG - "Dude i'll cut open a bottle or something if you want?"
Me - "CM, please, pull over anywhere possible. This is unbearable."

I could tell he was annoyed because he was already stressing out about making it there on time. The sensation of piss knocking at my flood gates left me to not care at this point. And finally (even though we were literally two minutes away) NB spoke up and saved me from peeing on SJ's backseat.

NB - "Quick, get out. We'll run across to that bar and they'll just pull the car over there once the light changes!"

So thankfully, he accompanied me in running across the street so that I could relieve myself in the bathroom of some random bar that luckily, when we entered, the door man was occupied and we didn't have to deal with explaining my emergency urine situation. After this ordeal, we get back in the car and finally arrive to Webster's. In entering, we didn't have to pay since we were with CM, however each of MG's, SJ's and my hands were marked with two big permanent marker x's to indicate that we were "underage." Womp, womp. So, naturally, the first thing MG and I did was hit the bathroom and remove the evil ink.
Anyway, once out of the bathroom, NB was kind enough to buy a beer for me. This one was finished successfully. Round 2...not so successful.

Big mean douche bag bouncer - "Excuse me can I see your I.D.?"
(Before being asked this I had just gotten rid of the can I was holding)
Me - "Yeah sure, here."
BMDBB - "You're not supposed to be drinking, you have to leave."
Me - "I'm not though, do you see me with a drink?"
BMDBB - "Do you think i'm fucking stupid? I saw you. You have to go. Give your coat check tickets to your friend."

I was given the boot. Outside, in the cold in a small black dress and pink leggings.

BMDBB - "Why'd you have to be such an idiot? Give me your hands."

86'd. This asshole drew two huge permanent 86's on my hands. COOL.

Almost immediately after being escorted outside, CM came out and gave me all of the instructions I needed in order to get back inside. And then my other friend, PM.. kept me company and made sure everything went smoothly. So we walked to SJ's car and the first thing I did was remove my pink leggings because BMDBB referred to me as "girl in the black dress and pink stockings". My dress was long enough anyway, and to completely change my outfit, I found a button down shirt and leather jacket in the trunk to put over my black dress and to top it off I tied back my hair. Once operation identity switch was complete, PM walked me to a burger place across the street so that I could scrub the hell out of those damn 86's. To my advantage, there was a bottle of windex in the bathroom and even with that, soap, water and toilet paper... I couldn't get them off. So I call for PM to help me.

Me - "They wont get off."
PM - "Want me to come in and help?"
Me - "Yes, PLEASE."

So he comes into the bathroom and at this point you know exactly what the guys working there are thinking.

PM - "Alright, I'm going to use my shirt, and i'm going to scrub as hard as I fucking can. Try to bear with me"
Me - "I don't care just get it offffffff."

I closed my eyes and cringed while he basically scrubbed the top layers of skin off of my hands and all the while, the men who worked there kept knocking at the door.

PM - "ONE MINUTE WE'RE POOPING IN HERE"

And once the marker was finally off, we got out, gave the guys a few bucks and booked.

Final stage: Go through the side entrance rather then the front which is where I had previously entered. So i separate from PM and he tells me to call as soon as I get in, or get rejected. In approaching the alternate entrance, I was praying to myself that BMDBB wasn't anywhere in sight, and luckily, he was not. Just three huge 6ft tall (and taller) bouncers with intimidating surface piercings along their cheek bones were manning the door. I thought to myself, "...as soon as I get to the door I'm going to tell that bouncer how much I admire his face piercings and flash him a cute smile."

While handing him my I.D. and smiling I say "Dude, I absolutely love that piercing!"
Piercing man - I NEED A STATE I.D.
Me - What?
He rudely handed me back my I.D. and I realized that I accidentally handed him my school I.D. Quickly I grab my license and I was given my final markings of the night. X on the left, X on the right. I was in.

Success. I never thought I'd be happy to see those X's again.

And so for the remainder of the night I danced my face off and had the time of my life. All was well worth it and the moral of this story is to never wash your hands with windex. It makes them very itchy ;)

"There's nothing you can't do, Now you're in New York."